WOW. The Holy Spirit found its target in my heart with those words. I wrote back, “Fear leads to faithlessness, and too many of my conversations have been soured by that bitter taste rather than seasoned by the sweetness of grace.”

Here is the back story. Today I will dine with my Dad, hoping to have a conversation with him that will result in his seeing a doctor. He is 74 and has not seen a doctor in 25 years. I have noticed some small signs of concern in recent months, but have not addressed them because past attempts have been futile. Now others are noticing too, and I think it is time for me to try again.

Here’s my problem: I have lots of fears, not only about my Dad’s physical health but about his spiritual health. But that’s only the small problem – the larger problem is that I want to SAVE him myself. I go to dark and foolish places of thinking I’m all alone in this, it’s all up to me, and if I don’t do it, he will die and it will be on my shoulders. And when that sort of thinking guides my motives and my words, the conversation and the relationship turn ugly.

My friend’s words jumped in to remind me of what I have been
learning over the past 5 years or so regarding my Dad – I can’t save him, and it’s not my job to do so. If my motive in this conversation is to encourage my Dad to make a move that might improve his quality of life, that is (may be?) a godly and good thing. (It occurs to me an even better motive might be to ask him how he would feel about going to a doctor.) But if it is to force him to do something because it calms my fears, that is simply self-salvation.

May I, may we all, look at places in our lives where we are trying to take over the job of Savior, and may we let it go. Today, I pray, may my heart be right, and may my words be few but rich and powerful and entirely guided by the Holy Spirit.

“When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, But he who restrains his lips is wise.” Proverbs 10:19